How Alec Cured his Angst
by Latest From The Asylum
Summary: Alec has General Angst, and it sucks like glitter herpes. So he goes out to find a cure to his angst. On his way he meets a pair of hunter brothers, a washed up angel, a devoted roman soldier and a pair of faeries chilling in the middle of Iowa. None of them are in the least bit useful. If only he could meet up with a warlock, maybe he could help cure Alec's angst...


~Fairy Tales n' shit presents~

**HOW ALEC CURED HIS ANGST**

*STARRING*

_Alec Lightwood n' TMI Co._

_Dean and Sam Winchester_

_That one angel dude_

_Not the Pizza Man_

_A Roman_

_A Fantastic Faerie Couple_

Once upon there was this shadowhunter named Alec. He was very sad and had this condition called chronic angst that for the life of him he could not get rid of. Like glitter. Or herpes. But mostly glitter herpes.

So one day he decided to go on a journey to fix this angst problem of his.

He only had to take like one step in order to encounter his first helper person on this GRAND ADVENTURE OF GRANDNESS.

"Hello dear sir." He said. "However do you suppose I get rid of my angst condition?"

"MmmmmphfuckoffAlec." Said the blonde boy making out with the red head.

"Okay thanks for your help." Said Alec before moving on.

He then came across this lady who I guess was his sister. "Hello." He said. "I have general angst."

"I have cookies." Said the lady.

"Okay thanks goodbye." Said Alec before leaving.

He then wandered the streets. In the street he ran into this strange looking white-haired fellow. "Hello," said Alec, "I'm Alec Lightwood and I-"

The boy disappeared in a puff of brimstone. Alec smiled. "Okay bye then."

Alec then ran into a pretty blonde vampire woman. "Kindly fuck off." he said before wandering into a subdivision.

In this subdivision there was this terrible noise. It seemed to be coming from a garage. Afraid to enter but still wanting help Alec called out, "HELLO, MY NAME IS ALEC LIGHTWOOD AND I NEED HELP WITH MY ANGST."

The noise ceased and the there was a squealing of a microphone before a voice echoed back, "AND I NEED HELP GETTING IN YOUR SISTER'S PANTS."

Alec frowned. This didn't help his angst much.

He wandered out of the subdivision and onto a lonely road.

Out of the distance came a black impala, with these two charming chaps in the front. They slowed down and rolled down the window. Believing they could help, Alec introduced himself. "Hello, my name is Alec Lightwood. I'm a nephilim who's trying to cure my angst. Can you help me?"

The driver smirked. "My name is Dean and I'm a hunter, and I'm looking for an angel. Can you help me?"

Alec shrugged. "Maybe we could help each other?"

Dean nodded. "Hop in and we'll find my angel and maybe cure your angst maybe I dunno."

Alec got in the backseat and proceeded to travel across the country hunting demons with these two men. It was fun just like when he did it with his family but he still couldn't cure his angst and they still couldn't find their angel.

On their travels they ran into this roman fellow. Alec and Dean approached him.

"Hello," said Alec, "my name is Alec and this is Dean. We're looking for an angel as well as a cure to angst."

"Sorry I can't leave my post by this box." said the roman.

Both Alec and Dean acknowledge the box. Sam was too busy giving life lessons to a group of third graders nearby to notice.

"Oh okay." Said Alec as Dean went to go round up Sam. "Thank you for your time."

"I could use that cure to angst, if you ever find it." Said the roman. "My name's Rory, by the way."

"Okay I'll bring you angst medicine when I find it Rory." Alec said before joining Sam and Dean in the impala.

Once again they are on the road. One day they decided to let Sam drive. They ended up driving into a river. It was a Tuesday.

"I fucking hate Tuesdays." Sam said.

Both Dean and Alec nodded. They weren't all too fond of Tuesdays, either.

They tried pulling the impala out of the creek but with no luck. Dean became sad, and his angst began to act up. As a fellow sufferer of angst, Alec knew he had to act quickly.

The stress of having to act quickly, however, made his own angst act up.

And it was Tuesday, so the rash of angst had also spread to Sam. It was an angst plague. There seemed to be no hope for the three hunters.

Then suddenly out of nowhere a bunch of vines pulled the impala out of the river and back onto the road. Dean rejoiced while Alec dragged the still angsting Sam into the impala.

While packing Sam into the back of the impala, Alec noticed a strange blonde fellow nearby watching them. Not having forgotten his quest to cure angst (and Deans to find an angel) he dropped Sam and approached this boy.

"Hello." Said Alec. "My name is Alec Lightwood. Are you the one who pulled our car out of the river?"

"Yes." Said the boy. "I am. I saw you and your friends suffer from angst. I have a friend who suffers from that too and he told me to help you."

"Oh really?" Said Dean, who randomly appeared at Alec's side. "Is his name Cas?"

"Yup you want to talk to him?" Said the boy. "My boyfriend found him drowning in a mountain of cheeseburgers just outside of town about a month ago. He's been attending our AA meetings ever since. My name's Telleo by the way."

"Awesome." Dean said.

So they all went and Dean reunited with Cas. Except Sam. Sam just sort of chilled in the impala the duration of the happy meeting. He blamed it on Tuesday.

While at the AA (Angst Anon) meeting Cas was at, Alec remembered to ask about his angst. "I'm an angel of the Lord." Said Cas. "But I cannot raise you up from angst."

"Oh wow okay thanks." Said Alec, just kinda happy to have met a real life angel. Even if said angel just sort of bummed around. But still, an angel.

Happy that he had his angel back, Dean bid Alec goodbye. "Hey thanks for helping me find my angel." He said. "And call me if that angst thing ever works out for you. Because I think Sam could really use it."

"What about you?" Alec asked. "I thought you had angst too."

"Yeah but now it's better 'cause I found my lame-ass angel." Dean said.

"I'm an angel of the Lord." Said Cas.

"Yes we know Cas." Dean said. "Okay thanks bye you guys."

They left, kinda leaving Alec stranded in Iowa, which was kind of a dick move on their part. But Alec let it slide because he thought maybe he could find his cure to angst in this town maybe. So he turned to Telleo. "Hey, I'm still looking for a cure to angst. Do you know what it is?"

"I don't know." Telleo said. "But maybe my boyfriend knows!"

"Okay cool." Alec said.

They then walked down the street and found Telleo's boyfriend at the bakery. Alec smiled and said. "Hello my name is Alec Lightwood and I have angst. Can you help me?"

"Rawr I don't like talking to people but your cool I gues. I'm Asher." Said Asher. "I'm sorry but I don't really know. I haven't had bad angst in a while so I guess I've already cured it."

"Woah really how?"

Asher shrugged. "I said I dunno but when I started dating Telleo it got better so I guess maybe that."

"Woah you have a magic angst-killing boyfriend can I borrow him?"

"No." Asher frowned.

"Oh okay thanks for your-"

"WAIT." Telleo suddenly cried, struck by an idea. "Angst is a lot like glitter like you said back in your little sob story intro right? Well I know a guy who knows glitter and if he knows glitter maybe he knows a thing or two about angst and could help you out."

Alec smiled. "Really? Okay cool can you take me to him?"

"Yup." Telleo nodded before unceremoniously shoving him into the river which happened to snake by the bakery randomly by the way.

But instead of getting wet Alec fell into an apartment.

"Huh." Alec thought out loud. "Faerie portals are weird."

"What's weird darling?" Said this guy who must have lived in the apartment. He was very attractive.

"You are very attractive." Said Alec, forgetting to ask about angst.

The other guy nodded. "You are too."

"Can we make out?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

And that is how Alec cured his angst.

* * *

_A/N: So this was originally a story I wrote for a friend via facebook chat when she had a bad day. After sitting on my desktop for a good half a year, I finally decided I should plague y'all with this. It's a crossover between TMI, Supernatural, Doctor Who and an original novel I've been working on for the past couple of years. Yeah. Basically if the Grimm Brothers had a mentally disabled #YOLO cousin, this would be what they would have come up with._

_I guess that makes me the mentally disabled #YOLO cousin._

_..._

_#YOLO_


End file.
